Incidences by Daniil Kharms

Author:Daniil Kharms
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Tags: Short Stories (Single Author), Fiction
ISBN: 9781852424800
Publisher: Serpent's Tail
Published: 1939-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

(21) Clunk

Summer. A writing table. A door to the right. A picture on the wall.

The picture is a drawing of a horse, the horse has a gypsum in its teeth. OLGA PETROVNA is chopping wood. At every blow Olga Petrovna's pince-nez leaps from her nose. YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH is seated in an armchair smoking.

OLGA PETROVNA: (Strikes with the chopper at the log, which, however, does not as much as splinter)

YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH: Clunk!

OLGA PETROVNA: (Putting on her pince-nez, swipes at the log)

YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH: Clunk!

OLGA PETROVNA: (Putting on her pince-nez, swipes at the log)

YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH: Clunk!

OLGA PETROVNA: (Putting on her pince-nez, swipes at the log)

YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH: Clunk!

OLGA PETROVNA: (Putting on her pince-nez) Yevdokim Osipovich! I implore you, don't keep saying that word 'clunk'.

YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH: Very well, very well.

OLGA PETROVNA: (Striking with the chopper at the log)

YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH: Clunk!

OLGA PETROVNA: Yevdokim Osipovich. You promised not to keep saying that word 'clunk'.

YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH: Very well, very well, Olga Petrovna. I won't any more.

OLGA PETROVNA: (Striking with the chopper at log)

YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH: Clunk!

OLGA PETROVNA: (Putting on her pince-nez) This is disgraceful. A grown-up, middle-aged man, and he doesn't understand a simple human request.

YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH: Olga Petrovna! You may carry on with your work in peace. I won't disturb you any more.

OLGA PETROVNA: I implore you, I really implore you: let me chop this log at least.

YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH: Chop away, of course you can, chop away.

OLGA PETROVNA: (Striking with chopper at log)

YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH: Clunk!

OLGA PETROVNA drops the chopper, opens her mouth, but is unable lo say anything. YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH gets up from the armchair, looks OLGA PETROVNA up and down and slowly walks away. OLGA PETROVNA Stays immobile, mouth open, and gazes after the retreating YEVDOKIM OSIPOVICH.

(Slow curtain)

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